Ep 116 | How to Take the Vacation Version of You Home: More Pleasure, Presence & Connection

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You know her. She shows up every time you go away.

More relaxed. More present. More alive. Laughing more easily, sleeping more deeply, feeling more connected to yourself and to the people you love. And yes, often more open to intimacy too.

She is your vacation self. And the moment you land back home and the suitcase opens, she disappears — absorbed back into the inbox, the to-do list, and the doing mode that swallows everything else.

But here is what Gabriella wants you to know. The vacation version of you is not a different woman. She is you under different conditions. Conditions where your nervous system finally gets to exhale. Where it is not scanning for the next thing, not bracing, not managing. Just settled, soft, and safe enough to feel pleasure.

Which means you do not need a plane ticket to find her again.

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In this end-of-summer solo episode, Gabriella explores what the vacation version of you can teach you about presence, pleasure, and connection — and offers a practical vacation self-audit to help you recreate the conditions, not the destination, once September arrives.

Highlights from our discussion include:

• Why the vacation version of you is not a different woman — she is you under different nervous system conditions

• The dual control model from Emily Nagoski's Come as You Are — the sexual accelerator and brake, and why removing what hits the brakes matters more than adding more

• The science of novelty and self-expansion — why shared new experiences deepen closeness and can reignite desire

• Why sensuality does not have to be sexual and how one deliberately sensory moment a day builds the capacity for pleasure

• How co-regulation and unstructured time together quietly stoke connection and desire without any pressure or destination

• The vacation self-audit — four questions to help you identify what to bring home with you before September takes over 

The vacation version of you remembered something. That rest is allowed. That pleasure does not have to be earned. That being present to what is actually happening right now, the taste of something good, the feel of warm air, the ease of being with someone you love without any agenda, is not an indulgence. It is the point.

So before September fills the calendar back in, Gabriella invites you to ask yourself one question. What did the vacation version of me remember that the everyday version of me tends to forget?

Whatever the answer is, bring a little bit of her home with you.

If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.pleasureinthepause.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.