Ep 46 | What The Film Babygirl Reveals About Women's Sexual Desire & Fantasy After 40

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Nicole Kidman's latest film Babygirl has sparked important conversations about female sexuality, desire, and pleasure in midlife.

As a sexual wellness coach working with women in perimenopause and beyond, I sat down with certified holistic sexuality educator Lauren Elise Rogers to explore the powerful themes this film brings to light.

The Reality of Midlife Female Desire

The film centers on Romy (Nicole Kidman), a successful executive navigating complex desires within her long-term marriage. Her journey mirrors what many women experience - the tension between deep love for a partner and unfulfilled sexual desires.

"Between 68 to 70% of midlife women report changes to their libido as they move from perimenopause to menopause," Rogers notes. "But decrease in desire is multifactorial - this is when women often start noticing and reporting these changes."

Breaking Free from Sexual Shame

One of Babygirl's most powerful themes is the weight of sexual shame many women carry. Rogers, who specializes in working with survivors of purity culture, explains:

"Female pleasure and female sexual energy has long been viewed as taboo, something we keep secret. As women, we are conditioned to believe that it's shameful or dirty, and as a result, unhealthy narratives shape our bodies and our sexuality."

The Power of Fantasy in Sexual Liberation

The film boldly explores how sexual fantasies can serve as pathways to deeper self-knowledge. Rogers outlines four cornerstones of eroticism that shape our fantasies:

1. Longing and anticipation

2. Violating prohibitions

3. The search for power

4. Overcoming ambivalence

"Sexual fantasies, to me, are things that we would not necessarily want to engage in on an everyday level," Rogers explains. "Fantasies are not inherently something we desire to enact."

Trust, Consent, and Power Dynamics

Babygirl masterfully portrays the interplay between control and surrender in sexual expression. The film demonstrates how clear communication about consent creates space for deeper intimacy and pleasure.

Rogers emphasizes: "The truest, most consensual, most fulfilling, most erotic experiences are led by the submissive who puts their desires forward, clearly and concisely."

The Science Behind Midlife Sexual Pleasure

Research continues to disprove myths about sexuality declining with age:

• The Kinsey Institute found 60% of women over 60 who are sexually active enjoy sex as much or more than in their younger years

• Studies show women often experience better orgasms in midlife

• Research by Professor Peggy Kleinplatz reveals presence and deep connection create the most fulfilling sexual experiences

Practical Steps for Sexual Exploration

For women wanting to explore their sexuality more fully in midlife, Rogers recommends:

1. Examine the origins of your beliefs about sexuality

2. Create new sexual values that align with who you are now

3. Practice communicating desires with partners

4. Use mindfulness to connect with bodily sensations

5. Consider working with a qualified sex educator or coach

The Future of Female Sexual Expression

Films like Babygirl represent a cultural shift in how we view women's sexuality, especially in midlife. As Rogers notes, "We need more human stories told. We need to see our sisters stumble and fall. We need to see one another make mistakes that lead to the best lessons we've ever learned."

The message is clear: female sexual pleasure has no age limit. As we move through perimenopause and beyond, we have opportunities to redefine pleasure on our own terms.

About our guest: Lauren Elise Rogers is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Certified Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach who has built a reputation for her warm, approachable style and deep commitment to helping individuals create fulfilling relationships and vibrant sexual lives. She is the founder of Sex Ed For You, which provides clear, compassionate, and comprehensive guidance on intimacy, relationships, and sexual health.

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/

• Website: https://sexedforyou.com/