Ep 10 | The Heroine's Journey: Mapping Your Path to Pleasure In Midlife with Carly Mountain

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I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Carly Mountain, a psychosexual somatic therapist, women's initiatory guide, breath worker, and author of the insightful book "Descent and Rising: Women's Stories and the Embodiment of the Inanna Myth".

In our conversation, we explored how the ancient Sumerian myth of Inanna, the goddess of sex, fertility and war, can provide a roadmap for women navigating the journey of perimenopause, menopause and beyond.

Meeting Ourselves Anew in Midlife

For many of us, midlife can feel like a time of darkness and disorientation when it comes to our sexuality and sense of self. Carly explains that the myth of Inanna sheds light on this shadowy terrain, illuminating the dark places we drop into where deep transformation happens.

Rather than trying to medicate, bypass or push through these places, the myth invites us to courageously descend and meet the forgotten parts of ourselves.

Navigating the Dark Places:

• Embrace the darkness as a place of transformation

• Meet exiled parts of yourself with compassion

• Cultivate the ingredients to rise from a place of truth and love

Shedding Skins and Discovering Desires

A core aspect of the heroine's journey is the shedding of layers of identity that no longer serve us. Carly shares that midlife is a time to release outdated identities so we can come closer to our authentic selves, true desires, and how we want to show up in the world.

However, even knowing what we desire can feel elusive. Carly offers a powerful journaling prompt to help uncover our true longings.

Uncovering Your True Desires:

• Set a timer for 3 minutes

• Write "I desire..." repeatedly, letting your pen flow uncensored

• If stuck, write "I don't want..." and look for the desire within

Reckoning with Depletion and Discovering Our "No"

Another key theme that often emerges in midlife is recognizing where we are under-resourced and depleted. Carly explains that unresolved issues from earlier life stages, like our first bleed or becoming a mother, often resurface in perimenopause and menopause.

Part of rising requires reckoning with our limitations and discovering our true "yes" and "no".

Finding Your True Yes and No:

• Notice where you're overly accommodating your own needs

• Practice honoring your "no" as an act of self-love

• Observe how this frees up life-force energy

Turning Towards Anger and Desire

As we descend, we may bump up against emotions like anger and rage that we've exiled to the shadows. Carly encourages turning towards these emotions with curiosity. She explains that daring to express our anger and "no" allows us to be in our agency more fully.

Suppressing anger often means suppressing sexual energy too. Honoring healthy aggression can open the door to passion and desire.

Honoring Healthy Aggression:

• Dare to realize you're safe enough to express your "no"

• Notice anger arising and welcome it with curiosity

• Observe how honoring anger can thaw passion and desire

Rising Together: The Power of Sisterhood

Carly speaks to the importance of sisterhood - both the estranged parts within ourselves and the power of being witnessed and mirrored by other women. She shares that finding support systems, friendships and relationships of equality with other women has been a deep desire for her.

Finding language and community as we navigate these midlife initiations can be deeply nourishing and empowering.

Cultivating Supportive Sisterhood:

• Reach out to friends navigating similar life stages

• Dare to voice your experience and be witnessed

• Seek out communities that offer mirroring and solidarity

Embracing Presence, Pleasure and Sovereignty

Ultimately, the heroine's journey is about embracing radical presence - daring to fully inhabit our bodies and embody our truth, even (and especially) in the midst of difficulty.

Carly shares that the most painful places are often where we've disconnected, whereas when we can be present, we open to experiencing beauty and pleasure even in challenging times.

Cultivating Presence and Pleasure:

• Notice where you disconnect from your body

• Practice being present, even in discomfort

• Trust that presence is the gateway to deep pleasure

My hope is that this conversation and Carly's book provide a map to navigate your own descent and rising. May you discover your deepest desires, boldly embody your no and your yes, and rise rooted in pleasure and sovereignty.

To explore more of Carly's work and access free resources, visit her website at carlymountain.com. Her book "Descent and Rising" is a must-read for any woman navigating the menopausal journey. Follow Carly on Instagram @carly_mountain https://www.instagram.com/carly_mountain/