Ep 80 | The Good Vibes Episode: Vibrators, Libido, and Midlife Sexual Wellness

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Struggling with low libido, vaginal dryness, sleep issues, or uncomfortable sex during menopause? You're not alone, and there's a science-backed wellness tool that can help. In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, host Gabriella Espinosa breaks down the research behind vibrators as legitimate health tools for midlife women navigating perimenopause and menopause. Discover how external clitoral stimulation can relieve menopause symptoms, improve pelvic floor health, boost mood, and restore your connection to pleasure without shame or judgment. If you've been told that sexual wellness isn't essential health, this episode will change your mind.

Highlights from our discussion include:

• Vibrators are wellness tools backed by science. Research from the Kinsey Institute found that women ages 40-65 rated self-pleasure at 4.35 out of 5 for symptom relief—more effective than many lifestyle changes. Benefits include improved mood, better sleep, increased lubrication, pain relief, and even fewer hot flashes.

• The clitoris is the primary source of orgasm for 80% of women. With over 10,000 nerve endings, the clitoris exists purely for pleasure. In menopause, declining estrogen reduces clitoral sensitivity, making vibrators essential for consistent stimulation that increases blood flow, awakens nerve pathways, and supports natural lubrication.

• External vibration offers health benefits beyond orgasm. Just 5-10 minutes of gentle external vibration 2-3 times per week can improve pelvic floor relaxation, reduce urinary urgency and UTIs, ease vaginal dryness, and relieve pain during intercourse—all without penetration or orgasm required.

• Your libido isn't broken—it's just different. In midlife, spontaneous desire often shifts to responsive desire, which is built through touch and sensation. Vibrators help by increasing blood flow, restoring sensitivity, and reconnecting you to pleasure. Regular use also strengthens your pelvic floor, which feeds back into desire and confidence.

• Choosing the right vibrator is about understanding your preferences. Consider whether you prefer external or internal stimulation, gentle or intense vibrations, solo or partnered use, and features like waterproofing or app control. Always choose body-safe materials (medical grade silicone or "pyrex" glass), use water-based lube, and start on the lowest setting to explore what feels good for your body now.

Your pleasure is not a luxury, it's essential to your health and vitality. If this episode opened your eyes to new possibilities for reclaiming your sexual wellness during midlife, share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. 

Check out Gabriella's Intimacy Holiday Gift Guide for curated vibrator recommendations, lubricants, and sensual essentials to support your journey. Remember: you deserve sensation, connection, and joy—not someday, but now.

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.