Ep 108 | Midlife, Sobriety, And Returning To Yourself With Ashley Kelsch

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What if the question is not why can't I quit, but what is this doing for me?

In this installment of the Return to Her series, Gabriela sits down with Ashley Kelsch, writer, coach, and somatic practitioner who helps midlife women change their relationship with alcohol and reconnect with themselves. Ashley spent a decade running a sexual wellness shop in Austin, where women quietly confided things in dressing rooms they were not sharing with anyone else — and underneath it all was the same thread. Disconnection from their bodies, their desires, and their needs, often soothed with a glass of wine.

This conversation explores what women are really reaching for when they pour that glass, why alcohol can feel like relief, confidence, freedom, and connection, and what happens when we discover those things were never in the wine to begin with. They talk about the difference between being uninhibited and truly inhabited, why midlife often feels like a crisis when it is actually an awakening, and why women's sexual pleasure is their birthright, not something to wait for or outsource.

This conversation is not really about alcohol. It is about what happens when a woman stops outsourcing her aliveness and starts coming home to herself.

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Ashley Kelsch is a writer, coach, and somatic practitioner who helps midlife women change their relationship with alcohol and reconnect with their bodies, desire, and aliveness. After a decade running a sexual wellness retail space in Austin, Texas, she became a life coach focused on dating, sex, and relationships before discovering the common thread connecting so many of the women she worked with — gray area drinking as a way of outsourcing relief, confidence, and connection. She has been alcohol-free for over four years and recently was accepted into the Somatic Experiencing Institute to deepen her trauma-informed work. 

Highlights from our discussion include:

• Why Ashley believes women don't have a drinking problem, they have an aliveness problem

• What women are really looking for when they pour that glass of wine — and why it is an exhale, not the wine itself

• The four-part framework: reveal, reclaim, rewire, rebuild

• The difference between being uninhibited and being inhabited

• Why alcohol affects women's bodies differently in midlife as hormones decline

• Why pleasure and sensuality are self-care, and why a glass of wine is not

• One simple practice — pause before you pour — to start reconnecting with what you actually need 

Sobriety is not really about stopping. It is about what you find when you do. Ashley's story is a reminder that so many of the things we reach for outside ourselves — wine, distraction, escape — are often pointing us toward something we have been taught to disconnect from. The work is not abstinence. The work is coming home. 

If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.pleasureinthepause.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.

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Episode 107 — From Survival Mode to Self-Connection

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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.